Nights Like These

Days like today make me realize how much I love being 21. And here is why:

1. Saw the beautiful ocean and skyline on my way to work

2. Got drunk at Chili's with my roommates

3. Made appletinis

4. Had a huge dance party until it got broken up

I'll admit I get sad sometimes, not having a boyfriend to end my nights with. But when I look back, I see just how happy I am on my own and that I am having the time of my life.

I'm so anxious to start my life and try to save the world, but for now I'm going to enjoy college, get silly with my friends and have a great time.

-Chelsea

R.I.P. Chivalry

I know it has been a while since either of us have posted on this wonderful blog. Over a month to be exact but Ashley is busy being in love (yay!) and well, I'm the complete opposite. As expected, my crush in my last post crushed me and left us just as friends. I've always been resilient and hopeful but after witnessing the death of chivalry last night, I've lost some faith in man.

Unlike my gentleman friend, I am classy and won't write about the date (most I can say is he got trashed while I was the designated driver). When did the rules change in dating and why is chivalry truly dead? I deserve a guy who wants to get to know me, let alone drive.

And to be honest, I'm disappointed in this guy. I thought he was the last nice one left. I'm not going to let this experience get me down though. This weekend was pure fun with my friends. I'm 21, my only responsibility is school and its completely acceptable to go out and be crazy in this stage of my life. Until then, I'm going to remain a hopeless romantic and hold out for my Marshall (by the way, Marshall is my dream man from How I Met Your Mother. Weird, I know. )

A girl can dream....

Crushed

This semester has been interesting, to say the least. I've really followed my New Years Resolution of trying to be a good student. Actually, I take that back. I'm writing this in the library instead of writing my Health and Culture Paper. But I've also met someone. Someone super great, funny, smart, and just as silly as me. I daydream non-stop because of this person and I can't wait to see him on our scheduled days. I even sit around obsessing with friends over stupid text messages sent between us. Its a silly crush and as of now and it probably won't be going anywhere due to some some circumstances. But I have learned one thing about myself and that is: I love love.

I love it. I get so overwhelmed and swept away with my feelings that I feel blinded to everything else going on in my life. This crush has gotten me so distracted and feeling genuinely happy that I wished everyone I know Happy Valentines day. I even find myself singing cute love songs throughout the day. If this person can make me feel so blissful without him even knowing how I feel, then who knows how delirious I'll be if things actually work out. But until then, I'm going to keep loving love and stay resilient.

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." ~Author Unknown

You Got A Friend In Me?

Well this 2011 year has not started off as expected. Then again, i should be familiar with complications. In the past year, i have definitely learned to take the good with the bad. When things start falling into place, other things fall out of place. The question is, how do i keep EVERYTHING in place? And in a good place?

I try deeply to be an incredible friend, an outstanding student, a wonderful daughter, an informed citizen, a tidy roommate, a happy person, etc. And it hurts incredibly to be told you are failing at one or more of these roles. I care so much about the people in my life and i would do anything for my friends and family. I know i have my moments, but who doesnt? And I know not everything runs as smoothly as it should, but thats life. And its really hard when friends run away at the first sign of conflict; thats when i need them the most. Ive really been trying to make changes in myself, but change doesnt happen over night. I ask of everyone to be patient with me. Im really making strides, you just need to give me a chance without being so quick to judge.

This break i have made an effort to keep in touch with friends whom are many miles away, unfortunately, the same effort is not reciprocated. Communication is the key to any relationship and im not sure how this can be achieved one handedly. It saddens me that miles can come between relationships. I understand a friendship takes effort, but im not willing to put it in the time if i am alone. Its been hard to discover who will stand by you and who wont. Fortunately, ive learned to count on myself. As long as i am true to myself, no one can tell me im wrong. I try so hard in staying involved with everyone else, that i forget about myself. If im true to who i am and say what i feel, then those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind!

Ashley

My Somewhat Attainable New Years Resolutions

Every year I make resolutions that I never keep. 2010 has really been an experience, to say the least. I've been single all year, made some really great friends, had nights I'll never ever forget, visited Europe for the first time, fell in love with Europe, and found out exactly what I want to do with my life. So here is to 2011, some of these resolutions may seem dumb to you, but they're things I really need to improve on for myself. Also, I'll probably be able to stick to them if they're in actual writing.

My Resolutions

1. Become better at phone calls- I am the worst when it comes to listening to messages, calling people back, and staying on the phone for long periods of time.

2. Exercise. I mean it. I will drag my ass to the gym at least 4 times a week.

3. Do what I want to please myself, not others. This is something I struggle with on a daily basis, and thanks to a good friend I've made this year, she has taught me to do things that make me happy and not to worry about everyone else's concerns.

4. More time with school, less time with my friends. And by friends, I mean alcohol.

5. Marry an Irish boy- A girl can dream.

Heart of Life

I'm sitting alone in the room, except with the company of our little lit up Christmas tree. It's nice to be here by myself sometimes. I don't usually have time alone to blast my music in the living room while I get ready in the bathroom and eat as much chocolate as I want. But being alone makes me think about all of the amazing people in my life. I feel like that phrase is tossed around a lot, but from the bottom of my heart, I really mean it. I've had the same core group of friends since freshmen year, and since then I've only made more true friends that I can count on. Most people my age can't say that. And I know I mess up and can be selfish and avoid conflict as much as possible, but I'm thankful to have friends who forgive me and accept me as that.

And to the people I've hurt, all I can say is I'm sorry. I am deeply sorry. There are things I'm figuring out that I want to do in my life and I thought I could handle it all, but I can't. I can only hope that when we see each other we'll smile and say hi and you'll remember that I do care about you.

I'm only two days away from home and I'm sad to leave these people for a month, some for months. But I know a few weeks of not seeing friends to oceans apart from each other will not change anything.

Love Always,

Chelsea

One step at a time

Im the idiot. Im the fool. I was wrong.

Your actions were to be expected, everything you did or said was out of love. I was blind and now i see.

Im trying to make things right again. I know itll only take time, but time is all i have. Ill be by your side through it all. I am sorry if sometimes i expect too much, but i am learning. We are growing together and i know our relationship can only grow stronger. Just know that i am sorry. Lets not let the past hold us down, we have a much brighter and happier future ahead of us.

I hope one day you can forgive me. I love you.

Ashley