Go Ahead

A song that i heard today. Thought id share.

if you want to find yourself by travelling out west
or if you want to find somebody else that's better
go ahead
go ahead

if you want to buy a brand new fancy automobile
or if you want to build a place up in coldwater canyon
go ahead
go ahead
go ahead
i wish you would
go ahead

if you want to hold your own hand going up that cliff
or if you want to just hold back cause you ain't up to it
go ahead
go ahead
go ahead
be my guest
go ahead

if you want to hold on to the first girl that you meet
or if you want to settle down and plant roses at my feet
go ahead
go ahead
go ahead
i wish you would
go ahead

if you want to have your cake and eat it too
and if you want to have other people watch you while you eat it
go ahead
go ahead
go ahead
be my guest
go ahead

if you want better things
i want you to have them
if you want better things
then i want you to have them
go ahead
go ahead
go ahead
i wish you would
go ahead
go ahead
i wish you would
go ahead,

Ashley

White Flag

Here i am, finally. I got to the place you were for so long, turns out im standing alone.

Im sorry, i dont know how many different ways or times I can say it. But i mean it.

Im not going to say it was a mistake, because it wasnt. Im better for it, but sometimes i wonder if I would be happier now. Ill never know.

However, im not going to sit here and dwell on the past. I cant and I wont. All i can do is hope that i get that second chance one day. If i do, i can promise that ill do anything to make it work. Ive learned so much from my decision and i now see how meaningful relationships are. I may never get that second chance, but ill continue living my life, and ill give my all in my next relationship.

Im grateful for all my experiences and for the ones to come. For now my heart is in park, but ill find my way to move forward. Fortunately, I have nothing but time. Its going to take a lot of patience, but i wont stop until my heart beats the way it should, until i find something real.

Like Carrie Bradshaw said, " Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies."

Always yours,

Ashley Kristine

Sitting, waiting, wishing

Sometimes i wish i could see into the future. I just want to know itll all work out.

And maybe i couldve been prepared for all thats happening. If someone told me this is how i would feel now, 2 months ago, i wouldve laughed at them and told them theyre crazy. But life is full of surprises.

The heart does silly things, and it always seem to tick when the other's is tocking. It took me a long time to find myself and realize who and where i want to be. Im still working on it, but i have a pretty solid foundation. Im almost 21, and im ready for my real life to begin. I will be graduating next spring and working toward my teaching credentials. The idea of growing up and becoming part of the real world scares me, but i couldnt be more excited. I just cant help but wonder if ill have to go through it alone. I had such a different plan at 19, and i had to go and change it all. I dont regret my decision at all, i figured out what i needed to. Now i wonder if ill ever get that plan back. But i cant see the future and who knows how itll all turn out. All i can do is stay positive and hope for the best. It might not all go according to plan, but whatever happens is how its supposed to happen. Lets just hope that my heart doesnt lose.

A few things that i do know is that i have the worlds greatest friends, especially Chelsea, whom i share this blog with. Without her, i would be more of a wreck than i already am. And of course i owe so much thanks to Sarah, Liz, my roommies, and a few of my neighbors. I love you all.

My parents have been such a big help too. I know i can always count on my family. No matter what my decision, theyll support me through it all. Although my love life may be complicated, my relationship with my friends and family is the best it could be.

On hold,

Ashley