And maybe i couldve been prepared for all thats happening. If someone told me this is how i would feel now, 2 months ago, i wouldve laughed at them and told them theyre crazy. But life is full of surprises.
The heart does silly things, and it always seem to tick when the other's is tocking. It took me a long time to find myself and realize who and where i want to be. Im still working on it, but i have a pretty solid foundation. Im almost 21, and im ready for my real life to begin. I will be graduating next spring and working toward my teaching credentials. The idea of growing up and becoming part of the real world scares me, but i couldnt be more excited. I just cant help but wonder if ill have to go through it alone. I had such a different plan at 19, and i had to go and change it all. I dont regret my decision at all, i figured out what i needed to. Now i wonder if ill ever get that plan back. But i cant see the future and who knows how itll all turn out. All i can do is stay positive and hope for the best. It might not all go according to plan, but whatever happens is how its supposed to happen. Lets just hope that my heart doesnt lose.
A few things that i do know is that i have the worlds greatest friends, especially Chelsea, whom i share this blog with. Without her, i would be more of a wreck than i already am. And of course i owe so much thanks to Sarah, Liz, my roommies, and a few of my neighbors. I love you all.
My parents have been such a big help too. I know i can always count on my family. No matter what my decision, theyll support me through it all. Although my love life may be complicated, my relationship with my friends and family is the best it could be.
On hold,
Ashley
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