Life has been crazy, hectic, stressful, fun, and there are a million different adjectives I could use to describe the way my life is going right now. I feel like I've become a completely different person from even three months ago when I was living careless and free. I now have school to worry about and an internship that I am so blissfully happy at. The only aspect I feel I've been struggling with in my life is trying to be happy alone. And I don't want to make this a blog that is solely used for the purpose of complaining about guys (even though those have been the majority of my posts) but I've been finding myself wanting what I can't have. I should have expected someone to move on after I was a complete jerk ( and I'll admit I was). But it sucks to see, or in my case, assume, that that person is happy with someone else and not me. I know he wasn't the one for me and that there were things in him that I saw as negative traits, but my head won't let me forget the good times we had together. I know in my heart it would be wrong to try to start things back up again while I don't even know what I exactly want. My friends are so right too; If I wasn't completely happy then, what makes me think things will be different now? He deserves someone who is going to make him deliriously happy and give him 100% but I know I can't be that person and he can't be that person for me. The most I can do is wish for him to be happy and hope that we are still friends.
I needed to get this off my chest. My goal is to try to update at least once a week, with pictures and everything. Lets see how this goes.
Love,
Chelsea
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